I truely had no idea when I began this journey of recovery, how my family life could and would change. I mean....I knew my relationship with my kids, my spouse and my parents would get better but I just didnt consider any other family members.
I have never been particularily close with my brother. We just never seemed to "click". I was often envious of the attention he recieved from my parents and in my alcoholic perception, they loved/valued/protected/adored him more.
As a result, I never took the time to cultivate any kind of relationship with him. We grew up, got married and went our separate ways. I have never been involved with his family, except to have an occassional fight with his wife. We see each other on holidays only, even though we live about ten minutes away from each other.
Fathers Day weekend someting seemed different.
He called me Jules.....
Our conversation was open and free and devoid of any of those old feelings of envy and jealousy. I actually enjoyed my time with him instead of being focussed on how much I dislike his wife.
And he called me Jules....
The realization that the family afterwards pertains to all my relationships was another one of those light bulb moments.
Seeking to understand rather than be understood crept up on me somewhere, somehow. I dont know when it happened, but I am sure that it is just another of the many gifts of recovery.
