Shaking God's Hand

The topic at my home group Sunday night was based on a reading in this months Grapevinve. The topic was based on 'finding' a power greater than ourselves, one that we could live by.
I listened to a man share about his belief in God, even though he's never 'shaken His hand'.
Suddenly, it occured to me just how far Ive come (came to believe...that concept I once scoffed at) in my belief in a power greater than myself. I call that power God....mostly for ease. Although sometimes I call him Buddy, Friend or even Hey-You.
I thought about my job (I work with persons who have fairly severe dementia, traumatic brain injury and end stage alzhiemers disease)and I thought "I get to shake God's hand every day!"
With every bone in my body, I know I am doing the job I am supposed to be doing. It has become clear to me that God gave me a gift, and that gift was wrapped in wrinkles and drool. Most days I can excel at my job with ease....I even have days that I cant believe I get paid to do what Im doing. (Nonono..not every day. Management drives me nuts, co-workers tick me off and the government red tape/rules/regulations baffle me and anger me)
But most days, when I am able to recognize that I am powerless to change management/co-workers/the government and I simply focus on what is in front of me, I wonder how I got to be so lucky. Who gets to come in to work, step off the elevator to a waiting 90 year old who has her arms outstretched for her morning hug? Who gets to hear they are beautiful and special dozens of times a day? Who gets to finish their shift knowing they made a difference that day?
I get to shake God's hand every day. I get to hug Him and hear Him whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
Mother Theresa said: "We can do no great things. Only small things with great love".
I finally get it.
Show up with gratitude in my heart, take care of all the small things, and sink an incredible amount of love into them.
What a gift.

Still Trudging

I read one particular recovery blog every day. I have a few others that I pop in to read weekly.
It astounds me sometimes that these good souls are disciplined enough to blog their thoughts, their experience strength and hope, every day! I've gone months without touching this blog.
Although I have been very busy living, working, parenting, going to school, being sponsored and sponsoring, there is something about this blog thing that I would like to cultivate enough self- discipline to visit here and post at least once a week.
It forces me to slow down, have a visit with myself and my life....
It allows me to organize my thoughts, and hopefully spit some of them out in a way that will help me see where Im at and where I'd like to go.
The girl I was will drink again. If I'm not changing, every single day...Im moving backwards. Im moving towards that drink."
Time to excersize and develop some self discipline.