Monday, July 4, 2011

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes." (pg 417 Alcoholics Anonymous)

Ive spent the last couple of days wondering about the thin line between accepting the things I cannot change.....and having the courage to change the things I can.
Maybe I should really be wondering if I even have the wisdom to tell the difference between the two.
I allowed myself to become disturbed; resentful even, at somebody else's behaviour. MOST of this behaviour should not affect me in the least. Some of the behaviour does affect me though....it branches into my life and I allowed it to dictate my sense of peace and serenity. So....instead of calmly and lovingly setting a boundary, I allowed it to fester.
Sigh.
I hate setting boundaries.
I have this crazy expectation

(yup...the stuff resentments are made of) that the world and everyone in it should have common sense. The SAME kind of common sense that I sometimes lead myself to believe I have.
Im so grateful for the meeting tonight that restored me to sanity. Temporarily at least.
Im going to have to have the conversation though....the boundary one. I dont feel one bit more comfortable about having it.....I just feel a little better equiped.