Just BEing

SLIPS.
I hate that word.
I knew someone once who thought they'd go out for one last hurraah before entering a treatment facility....and they "slipped" right into a grave. Left 4 grieving kids behind.
I woke up today thinking about relapses and it took me some time to figure out why that particular thing was on my mind.
A sponsee missed home group last night.
She hasnt called me this week.
Her meetings have been leveling off for a few months now.
She admitted she wants to isolate.
~sigh~
I feel powerless.
I know I cant keep anyone sober. (No human power could relieve our suffering)
Ive prayed for her....but Im pretty sure God wants her to do the footwork...and her head doesnt seem to be in the game and her sober-feet seem to be on vacation.
Sometimes I'd rather be a human DOing instead of a human BEing. I want to do something. I want to drag her into surrender. I want to shake her or yell at her.
I dont want to alienate her. I dont want her to be mad at me. I dont want to shame or ridicule her back into the game.
I guess I'll pray.
It just became clear to me how often praying is my last resort.
I will try to figure it all out in my head (oh ya...theres a good place to be)before I consider praying and asking for guidance and direction.
Alright...so now Im off to pray.