What If?

what if
I am exactly where I'm supposed to be today.

what if I'm not supposed to be one single solitary molecule better, nor one bit faster, not one jot farther along.

what if I'm not supposed to be
any smarter, or more spiritually evolved,
better with money,
braver,
bigger or smaller.

what if
(just for today)
I let sobriety be the win,
let that be enough, and
take the day off from self judgment,
from comparing myself to others
and to the mythical stealth "ideal me" I've somehow been sold.

what if just for today I banish the "should's" and "supposed to's."

if there is a God
(and while sometimes there's doubt and some days the evidence seems to go either way what if today I sit with "there is")
then what if
my foibles and mishaps and shortcomings
are part of what I need to be what I'm supposed to be
eventually.

if this isn't bogus,
or utter bullshit,
then I can relax,
and have faith that
(as the old expression goes)
God don't make junk

and there is a Plan

and I really am
exactly where I'm supposed to be
today.

*This thought/poem/prayer was borrowed from one of my favorite blogs Mr. Sponsorpants.