Good Meeting vs. Bad Meeting

I really feel blessed that I live in a city that has so many meetings to choose from. Most days I can choose from three different meetings to attend, some days four.
The meetings that I ~love~ change from time to time, depending on where I am in my recovery. If I am taking an emotional nose-dive, I love the meetings where I find the oldtimers, many who seem to have almost perfected "Keep It Simple".
On days when I feel in alignment with Gods will for me, I love the meetings attended by newcomers, or the institutional meetings. I want so deeply to be able to offer some little ray of hope in the same way others gave that to me.
Today is Friday....a four-meetings-to-choose-from day.
Here comes the *but*.....the thing I have been struggling with for some time now.....
One of those meetings is a *Womens Meeting*. In and of itself, that doesnt bother me. I understand that for various reasons, some people may feel safer or more free to share when the oposite sex is removed.
I have gone to this meeting on various occassions. Sometimes my intentions were good, sometimes they were filled with ego.
My personal experience with this particular meeting is that it is filled with "whiners". You know the joke that men make about womens meetings about us just getting together so we can bash men? That truely goes on there! Lots of talk about "inner child" and "setting boundaries". Very little talk about the selfish and self-centerdness on our part as alcoholics.
So....sometimes I go. I go so I can talk about the things I read in the Big Book (pretty sure Ive never read ANYTHING about the inner-child in there). I go so I can talk about my disease and how it affects my thinking. Sometimes I go because (heres the ego part) I feel better than these women and I want to teach them something. My distorted thinking will rationalize that with "Its for the good of AA! What about these new women who wander into the room?! I dont want them to think AA is some kind of therapy circle where we hold hands and talk about the people who have harmed/beat/raped/abused/took advantage of us!"
~sigh~
For today, I have to put my recovery first. And for me that means going to a meeting where experience has shown me I can get filled up instead of depleated. Where I can put my ego and my agenda aside and take in some of God's will for me.
Funny, how when I put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard in this case) things become clearer.
Happy Friday!