seven days away from AA makes one weak

That is a slogan that is used at my dads home group. Until recently, I just took that particular bit of wisdom at face value. In my two and a half years of recovery I had always attended at least three meetings a week....
that was my standard dose of neccesary medicine. And then holiday time came.
Sixteen days of time I had been looking forward to, the way that a kid looks forward to Christmas.
I spend my holdays at the lake, less than an hour from home, certainly close enough to come back for meetings. There are meetings within ten or fifteen minutes from the lake.
But I flew by the seat of my pants, and planned on deciding day by day wether or not I would "need" a meeting.
Part of me was a little excited about having sixteen whole days with no plans, nothing on the agenda, nothing I "had" to do.
Here's what happened:
For the first few days I felt great. I was joyful and useful and looked for ways that I could bring the best of myself to each sitution.
The next few days were spent absentmindedly focussing on how my friends new boyfriend was ticking me off. Let me mention here that my friend and her boyfriend are both in recovery, as well as my husband. I had all these people surrounding me that understand acutely how the mind of an alcoholic works. That being said, I can often judge harshly people who are in recovery. I tend to hold them to a different standard than I hold the rest of the world. My inner attitude says that people in recovery should know better than to behave like asses.
By day six or seven....I was a seething, resentful mess.
I took that opportunity to question my spouse about his recovery and point out that he hadnt been to a meeting or talked to his sponsor in a week!
He did sulk off to call his sponsor.....likely to ask him if he had any ideas of a good place to hide my body.
I too called my sponsor....to bitch and moan about my friends boyfriend and his completly selfish, unacceptable behavior.
She gently pointed out that it was none of my business.
I spent the next few days trying to justify why it was so my business.
I spent those days also being sucky that my holidays were not bringing me the joyful feeling that I thought they would. I fought with hubby about money. I was overly sensitive to perceived critisism. I martyred.
By day 9 I recognized that I simply cannot fly by the seat of my pants and depend on my alcoholic mind to transport me to a meeting. I need sober feet to carry me there, regardless of what my mind tells me. I need to incorporate meetings into my travel plans.....
Seven days away from AA makes one weak.