My God Box Story.

One time, I was the invited speaker at a meeting, and when I was finished, a girl came up to me and said "You didnt share your God Box story! Thats my favorite part."
You just never know what part of your story people are going to find useful....I personally thought my God Box story was stupid and just a little embarrassing, but I will share it here just in case somebody else needs a moment of entertainment or identification.

On my 36th birthday, I bought myself a bottle of vodka.
In and of itself, pretty normal present for an alcoholic to buy herself.
It's the web of lies that I created around my birthday present that is so...insane, embarrassing....so very alcoholic.
My husband had recently quit drinking....and was desperately trying to clean up the financial wreckage we had created by drinking and cocaine-ing for the last five years or so.
I knew I couldnt just buy myself a bottle and bring it home. There was absolutely no justification in the world that would fit.
But I wanted one. God, I needed one.
So, along with the bottle, I bought one of those fancy gift boxes that you can put them in. I also bought myself a birthday card and signed it from all my friends at work. I used different colored pens, I used my left hand, I did my best to make it look as if these people really did buy me this bottle and were sending me wonderful birthday wishes.
I dont really remember hubby's reaction.
It didnt matter...I had gotten away with it.
Fast forward about 6 months.
I am now in recovery, doing a meeting a day, and struggling along.
One morning, while searching for something before going to the morning meeting, I spot that gift box.
I was filled with a sense of shame and remorse. It smacked me right in the face that I had lied and decieved to get my hands on booze.....and that was something that no social drinker ever did.
I hurried off to the meeting with the intent of throwing that stupid box away when I got home. I didnt ever want to have to look at that little bit of nasty evidence again.
God works in funny ways.
Somebody at that morning meeting shared a trick she uses to practice "Let Go and Let God". She told us of her "God Box"...a little box she uses to hold the pieces of paper she writes her worries on. Once she puts pen to paper, writes them out and deposits them...then she just has to work on letting it go. Its in the box, where God will take care of it...in His time and in His way.
I knew immediately that I couldnt go home and throw that stupid box out.
Now its my God Box....filled with worries, prayers, hopes, frustrations,and gratitudes.
I only have to look at that box to remember that I am an alcoholic. Sometimes I pull the little slips of paper out and read them, only to realize that my biggest worry of yesterday has long since been taken care of.
I am reinspired by the things I was so grateful for in early sobriety, things that I am prone to take for granted if I am not careful.
And that....is My God Box Story.